I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
