yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
