dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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