It was confusing and full of hummus
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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