just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize