I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
