I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
