dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST