Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.