His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen