you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.