On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
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We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
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Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?