In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
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