She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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