Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
