am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
