I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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