so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
