go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i can't believe i had my finger in that
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
