don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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