I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
