Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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