so explain again why im purple
no
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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