sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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