p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
