You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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