my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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