I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
