PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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