I'm really into asian looking animals
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
