You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
