i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
