ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
