Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Your dad touched me again.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
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I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
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After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT