I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.