I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!