Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
