I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
