this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
