how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.