I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.