I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance