At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
seriously i just wanna be friends
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs