New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.