honey bunches of taint.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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