You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever