Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least