Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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