yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
