He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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