Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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