Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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