I accidentally had phone sex last night
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
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