sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
