Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
