I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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