I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
