Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
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Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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