Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
