just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
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its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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