it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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