Taylor Swift is so right about you.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
