I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
