yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
