I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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