I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
