Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
