he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
