Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
we should paint friendship bongs
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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