I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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