Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
