I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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