2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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