It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
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