Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
